I see you everywhere
do you still see me?
I’m out here making a mess of things
still trying to make sense of things
failing beautifully at being a motherless mother
with a head full of the Moon and stars and dreaming
so distant now
somewhere beyond each cloud
I close my eyes and still feel you somehow
I wonder if I resemble any of the dreams you had for me
do you feel your grandsons two heartbeats?
I hold them close to me
then I forget to drown — and just breathe