For Us

A poem

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I am terrified of forgetting you.
Though I have known you since before my birth;
and your blood is the river running through my veins
and my eyes are reflections of your mothers dreams
and my face is a map of our Nigeria — Delta state.
I remember you noticing my habits before I had a clue,
how you drank huge cups of tea and napped in the afternoon,
your life taught me the difference between loneliness and solitude.
I remember you connecting me to Granddad year after year
through his hand written words on page after page
of those blue airmail letters that doubled up as envelopes
and were flown over land and sea to bring pieces of home back to you,
how you smiled at his reminder to gather us together
to pray before each day was through.
I remember how the sun lived in your skin,
the moon and starlight too,
how you sacrificed and gave your everything,
you poured your cells into me then breathed me to life —
how can my mind even think about forgetting you?
But my eyesight is no longer sharp
and my memories are fading too.
Your absence silently threatens to unravel me;
it is the loose thread dangling from my heart that I dare not pull.
Can we pretend that you did not die?
Can we pretend that I am not living without you?
Stay with me.
By Gods grace:
I will write a body of poems that tell the story of your name.
I will write a body of poems born from a soft and hard place.
Gift me the language to write joy from this kind of blue,
I am terrified of forgetting you.