Notes and misadventures in adulthood (Chapter one)

‘When I grow up…’ learning how to parent one baby step at a time

Dear Universe,

I know you’re incredibly busy evolving creation and such, so although I have several questions — I’ll limit it to one for today.

  • Tantrums — *stares blankly into the distance* Just, what the… what!

I may need to have another look at the ‘terms and conditions’ of this parenthood thingy, because unless I missed it in the small print — I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign up for this shit.

Now, I know how it feels to want something really badly, and not get it. Yes that sucks, I can empathise — to a degree. But I draw a line in the sand and say ‘woah, hold up’, when my little man throws himself on the floor, crying his absolute head off and refuses to get up and walk as if he’s forgotten how.

This may not be in the handbook, and is probably seen as an epic parenting fail — but I get super grumpy at that point and lose my shit.

I thought we were out of the woods with these silly episodes. We are way past the ‘terrible twos’ — he’s six and in school and everything.

The last major tantrum episode, was in the peaceful environment of The Natural History Museum. Peaceful until I told my little nugget ‘no’ to buying yet another dinosaur toy. The fact that he already has a selection of them at home (that he doesn’t play with) — was deemed unworthy reasoning in his eyes.

Cue tantrum.

The wailing at such an unnecessary tone and pitch (I think my ears might still be ringing), was enough on it’s own to send despair coursing through my veins. But once he threw himself on the floor, all bets were off. I was pissed.

I hauled him up by one arm, dragging him along whilst he kicked and screamed — and I marched us towards the exit. And yeah, I did notice the stares and expressions of horror on the other adults and kids faces (they were likely wondering if I was kidnapping him, and contemplating calling the police) as I breezed by.

I’m holding my hand up saying ‘I don’t get it.’ This is not a rant, it just sounds like one. I’ll just leave this note here asking you to please get back to me and ‘show me.’

Over to you Universe, your suggestions please …I beg of you.

Just in case it’s unclear, I adore my kiddies immeasurably — thank you for sending them my way. But also for clarity, I’m going to need the tantrums to stop with immediate effect to ensure my continued sanity.

Thanks in advance for your time

Yours hopefully,

D (your willing student, desperately seeking peace and guidance)

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