Member-only story
I am a Nigerian woman. Born into the patriarchal landscape of Britain.
As a Black, unmarried, single mother of two glorious Black sons — I still receive side eyes and sense the judgement that casts my sons and me in the roles of negative stereotypes and somewhat enemies of both the British and Nigerian patriarchal states.
The patriarchy tells me that I am not a ‘good look’ for their brand of society that seeks to elevate men’s wants and needs to maintain power — whilst keeping women like me in their shadows waiting and waiting to feel the sunlight of equality.
Trying to hold women to ridiculous ‘moral’ standards set by their all-male squad, that they themselves need not adhere to. Extramarital affairs or just sex as unmarried men, has long since been tolerated as ‘just something men do.’
As for any children they created through these ‘discrepancies’, they had the legal backing to brand them as illegitimate or ‘bastards.’
Like, wait — what?
What does an illegitimate child even look like? Seriously, I’m not asking for a friend.
Writing the ‘bastard’ construct into law, was one of the patriarchies most savage moves to further suppress…
