Member-only story
I am more than what motherhood makes of me.
I am a good person — not a Saint. So swearing animatedly at that driver who beeped at me whilst cutting me up the other day, highlighted a good person behaving badly under duress. Still, try harder not to be so fucking triggered by humans sent to spike up my stress.
Being human is exhausting.
Rest and recover.
I will love again (Not him. Yeah we’re kinda cool now, but still have to keep my heart far, far away from his palms. It’s okay when a smile occasionally breaks out from the resentment written across my face when I’m looking his way, we have history steeped in shared memories of moments that took our breath away. But if it encourages him to advance into my space, just tell him straight — ‘that was not an open invitation for you to disturb my peace all over again’).
Get better — not bitter.
I’ve tried to beat my heart to death and wanted to throw it away — anytime I’m in my feelings over those savage heartbreaks. I need to be more gentle with my softest place and remember I was broken open in devastating ways, and healing is not time sensitive — it will come along in waves.
